Sliding, Not Deciding

By Susan Weingartner

One of the things I love most about this season of life is how much I learn from my kids. My daughter challenges the way I think. My son notices things I miss. My niece and nephew regularly introduce me to ideas I never would have encountered on my own. 

Recently, my niece shared a phrase from a book she had read:

Sliding, not deciding.

The idea comes from relationship research. Sometimes couples don't consciously decide to move their relationship forward. They simply slide. One night becomes every night. An apartment becomes shared. Years pass. Major life decisions are made almost by default rather than by intention.

I didn't need to read the book to understand exactly what she meant. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Not simply because of relationships.

But also because of wealth.

I've spent the last few months wondering why families don't talk about money.

We're busy. Our kids are busy. There's always a reason it can wait.

Until something changes.

A business is sold.
A parent dies.
A trust is activated.

Suddenly, a family is making decisions together that they never really prepared to make.

 Maybe we've been too quick to call this avoidance. Maybe families slide.

We slide into wealth.
We slide into succession.
We slide into silence.

Years pass, and we assume the important conversations happened somewhere along the way.

Often, they didn't.

That's what I keep coming back to.

Wealth gives us an extraordinary ability to make choices. About what matters. What the money is for. What we want our children to understand. What responsibility comes with it. But having choices isn't the same as making them.

Legacy requires deciding.

And perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give the next generation is deciding not to slide past the conversations that matter most.

And that's where my work begins.

Most families prepare the capital.

Far fewer prepare the people.

If your family is ready to begin one of these conversations, Family Advisory is a private engagement designed to help families navigate questions of stewardship, responsibility, and preparing the next generation for what wealth asks of them.

Learn more about Family Advisory  | Begin a Private Conversation